From my comment on http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/church/features/27229-breaking-down-church-membership


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Do not judge

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A very short story. I am going to build it up.

---

Mr. Fox stretched himself luxuriantly, and gave a noisy yawn. His companion, always nervous, twitched, and settled. Mr. Fox watched, and smiled. He found his friend an endless source of amusement.

“Ah, that is a glorious rainbow over there; so vivid, so pure in colour. What say you, Mr. Mole?”

“Bah!”

“Why, Mr. Mole. What’s wrong?”

“Always you talk of these things. How blue the grass is, how green the Sun is.”

“No, no, no. The grass is green, Mr. Mole, green.”

“And the Sun?”

“Yes, that’s green as well!”

“BAH!”

“Oh, Mr. Mole. Please, don’t be upset.”

“I do not know of these colours. I cannot see. I have never seen. I have no wish to see. I am perfectly fine as I am.”

“I am very pleased for you.”

“In fact, how do I know these colours even exist?”

“Because I say so.”

“Bah!”

“Mr. Mole, Mr. Mole. Do you not believe me? I am hurt. Hurt I say.”

“You talk of a rainbow? A band of colours hanging in the air? What holds it up, then?”

“What do you mean? Nothing holds it up.”

“Well, how does it get there?”

“I don’t know. The Sun shines on the rain, and it appears.”

“How can I believe in something I cannot touch, feel, hear, or smell?”

“Because I tell you.”

“BAH! Rainbows! Colours! They don’t exist. They can’t exist. You’re mad, Mr. Fox, utterly mad.”

-+-

Mr. Robinson was walking along the street with Mr. Blake, a broad smile across his face.

“Why do you smile so, Mr. Robinson?”

“I’ve just come from our church meeting. It was a great time of worship. I could really feel the presence of God.”

“BAH!”

One problem atheists have with Christians is a false assumption they make.

They think there is no difference between Christians and non-Christians.

In fact, there is a difference, and it goes down to the most fundamental level.

Christians are something other than just Human Beings. They are reborn Human Beings. Before they are born again, a Christian has what is described as an "old Adam" spirit, bound to the rules of this earth's controlling spirits. Once they are born again, they have a "new Adam" spirit. They are born from Heaven and are now subject to Heaven's rulership.

Christian's become carriers of the Holy Spirit. That is, the Being that created the Universe, caused the Big Bang if you wish (an over-simplification), becomes a part of them, bringing change, guidance, and power.

OK, many don't act like that. Some because they prefer to live as they always did. Others because they have not learned to live in their new nature.

A Christian does seem to have abilities that manifest as soon as they are born again.

1) There is a sense of kinship with other Christians. A Christian can walk into a room of strangers, and may get a vibe off someone that says "family".

2) All of Creation seems to be new. Sights, sounds, smells, everything seems to have a new quality about it. Even simple things can fill a Christian with an almost childlike joy.

3) Sharpened conscience. This can be a painful one, and can cause Christians to backslide. The sense of responsibility for their actions can be quite painful for a Christian. Sometimes, they harden themselves, dulling their conscience. This can cause them to die back to a state similar to before they were born again. In fact, they can sometimes become worse.

4) Homesickness for heaven. A Christian does not feel part of this world. A Christian is a part of another world, with very different rules. While on this earth, the Christian is an ambasssador, and every church and church gathering is an embassy.

As the Christian learns to accept their true nature (called Walking in the Spirit), other abilities can manifest.

1) Obsessions and addictions can spontaneously drop away - they have no hold on the Christian.

2) They learn to respond to other people with love and kindess, even if they are subjected to abuse and persecution. This is an all-inclusive love, overcoming prejudice and hatred of all kinds.

3) Different aspects of their life fall into place, like pieces of a jigsaw.

4) Whatever situation they are in, they are undefeated. As a matter of fact, everything they experience causes them to grow and flourish, although this may involve breaking through problem areas.

5) They become at peace. Positive. Stable. They find laughter and tears come easily, and can even laugh at themselves.

6) They care for all people, even those despised by the rest of society.

7) Sin has no hold on them This is a difficult one. Christians can still sin, but it is a choice rather than a compulsion. This, in fact, makes it more serious, because a Christian no longer has an excuse for their actions.

One key point about all of this, is that it depends on the Christian's free will. The changes come about because of the Holy Spirit, but always in accordance with the Christian's will. If a Christian resists the Holy Spirit, they will not change. If they submit to the Holy Spirit, the changes will be profound.

OK. Celibacy. In a world where sex seems to be sought after so much, celibates are seen as unusual at best, mentally ill at worst.

I describe myself as celibate by nature. Let me explain.

I grew up in the sixties and seventies. The time of the sexual revolution. Even in primary school I wanted to know what girls looked like naked. I used to buy Beautiful Britons and similar magazines.

At secondary school sex was all around. There were the girls that stood at the back of the gym letting boys feel them, and the disappearances into the woods at the end of the sports field.

As I described elsewhere, I was a loner. There was no chance of me experiencing close association with a girl at school. I did get rather good at drawing girls in the nude. What an imagination I had!

My first experience was with a girl I shall call April (false name, as all others will be). I worked as a lift operator/floating porter at a local department store. That was a Saturday job. April worked on the confectionary counter. When I saw her, I greated her with "Hello, Titch." - she was not tall. Anyway, we hit it off straight away. We used to eat lunch together, find quiet spots in the park away from prying eyes, and you would not believe how often the lift stopped between floors when we were the only two in it!

April was much more experienced in interpersonal relationships than me, and I received quite an education. However, when it came to, shall we say, the final exam, I was too afraid of hurting her (I was confused by advice a doctor gave her about a medical condition), so I flunked.

I left school after my 'O' levels and took a full time office job. I have told elsewhere about the bullying I received at school. Let me say that leaving school did not mean an end to bullying. An office manager once told me "Even if you had a woman, you wouldn't know what to do with her." Fatal words, because it made me decide to find out. With prostitutes.

That was not satisfactory at all. I felt that there might be something wrong with me, so I went to strip clubs and watched pornographic movies. However, I cannot say that I ever felt lust, or desire, or passion. It was just entertainment.

I met Betty at a disco. She lived far away from me. It took several hours to travel between home and her place. She wanted me to stay the night, but I always made sure I got the last train home. All Betty wanted me to do was buy alcohol, which we would drink at her place. She never wanted to go out, and would not come down to where I lived. Again, there was an opportunity to advance the level of our relationship, but I did not take it. I would have missed my train!

Sometime later, I became a Christian. I decided I needed to learn how to treat women as sisters. One girl sat becide me and told me how safe she felt with me. I thought, that's what I wanted. I believe that that is when I received what we call the Celibate Spirit.

I went out with many ladies after that point.

Cindy was part of a social group I was in. We were at a party. She was chatting to a friend, and had no shoes on. Just as a joke, I fastened my mouth round her toes! Don't ask me why I did it. It isn't something I do. Anyway, somehow she knew I was a Christian, and so began a friendship that lasted for many years. She was amazed that she could trust me. We shared a tent, rooms, and even the same bed, and I never, as they say, put the moves on. That friendship ended when she thought I wanted to marry her.

I met Debbie at a relative's wedding. It was a sort of blind date. I was concerned that she responded to my chattup lines. As an experiment, I made them more cheesy, and still she responded. I should have got a warning then. Anyway, I often drove down to her place, picked her up, and we went to all kinds of places. However, there was a problem. She liked to tame tough guys. I am no tough guy. We came back from the movies on one occasion, and she wanted me to go round a roundabout so she could call out to an ex-boyfriend. When I challenged her, she told me that she didn't see me "in that way". So that was that.

Emily was another blind date. We went on long drives, picnics and so on. We would watch chick-flicks over wine and cheese. We split because I hadn't taken her to bed by the alloted number of dates.

Then came Francine. We hit it off immediately. I decided to do things the "normal person's" way and we had, shall we say, a full relationship. However, I was inexperienced, and sought advice from books! I made loads of mistakes. In fact, I was a disaster! Too much theory, not enough passion. Plus, I was always tired. We were to get married, but she called it off. She said we were too much like an old married couple already!

That is when I made my decision. I considered that, before God, Francine and I were married. I would not hold her to it, only myself. So, I am a celibate. Truthfully, I think I always was. A natural celibate. I just do not have the emotional makeup to make a relationship work. However, I am at peace with this. I have not looked for a relationship since I made my decision. It is ironic that the office manager was actually correct in what he said.

There must be many out there who are just like me. You chase around, trying to find a partner. You start out thinking that there is one for everyone, and worry you haven't met them. So, you have relationships with partners that have little or no chance of working out. The idea that you might be celibate by nature just does not occur to you.

When speaking about celibacy on the radio once, a very angry lady came on-air denouncing me as selfish, because I would not be a husband or parent. Let me say that one of the main benefits of celibacy is that you are free to be spontaneous. free to make decisions without reference to other people. That means, if a friend is in need, or there is a job to be done, or an emrgency to attend to, a celibate is more able to respond than someone who has people depending on them.

The most valuable lesson I have had from God is to accept my limitations. As a Christian, they are irrelevant. No matter how wise, or knowledgeable, or strong, or healthy, or wealthy, I am, it is never enough. It does not have to be. It does not matter how foolish, or ignorant, or weak, or ill, or poor I am. God has no limits and can provide every resource or facility that I lack.

From my own experience, God does this in a number of ways.

First, there is the coincidence (or God-incidence). I think that at least some of God's miracles involve getting a person to the site where something will happen. For instance, if I have a journey where all the traffic lights are green, it is because I was at the right place, at the right time, travelling at the right speed. If I pray to meet a particular person and do, that person will have been travelling to my location for some time. I have a feeling that, when Moses raised his staff and the Red Sea parted, that the miracle was not just the parting of the Red Sea - the forces needed for it to happen were already in motion - but that the exodus of the Israelites and their arrival at the Red Sea shore was at exactly the right time.

Second, God can override us when He needs to and, more importantly, when we permit it. On at least four occasions, probably more, I have felt myself change, and my words and actions became exactly what was needed for a given situation. On three occasions I stopped violence, or potential violence, with just words that came to me at that instant. I have prayed about expected confrontations many times, and my words and actions became exactly what was needed to resolve the conflicts.

Third, God can give us a powerful compulsion to speak. I am not a passionate speaker, or a skilled evangelist, or teacher. Yes, I perform poetry and tell short stories, and have acted on stage, but this is different. It as if I have something bottled up. I start pacing like a caged animal. Then the words sort of explode out of me, full of passion and feeling. Sometimes it is prophecy, or teaching, or a word of wisdom, or a word of knowledge. Whatever it is, my speech suddenly takes on a passionate and authoritative tone that is definitely not me.

Fourth, God can give the gift of faith. The sudden, total conviction that if I do 'a', then 'b' will happen. I had to lift some flat-pack furniture. I was not strong enough to do more than tilt it. Then I became certain that, if I prayed OUT LOUD, I would get the strength I needed. I prayed, and I got the strength. Just long enough to get the furniture into the house. Then it left me, and, once more, I could hardly move the pack.

As far as finance is concerned, I could point to all kinds of things that have helped. All coincidence, much affecting a huge number of people and not just myself, but, nevertheless, things happened exactly when I needed them to happen. I was unemployed for over a year. When I finally got a job, my mortgage was my only debt, and I had a four figure bank balance. Five years earning just over minimum wage, and I still have a healthy bank balance.

I am not saying these are the only ways God works, and He has probably helped me in other ways. He has certainly helped me through other people in my church.

The next bit will get personal. Very personal. I am going to talk about why I am a celibate.

OK. Bit of a delay, but here is the next part.

After I joined the Jesus Army, I had to deal with more attitudes. I was used to living my own, my way. You know, get up. go to work, come back, veg out in front of the computer or TV. Now I had meetings to go to. Jesus Army activities took up a lot of my time.

I resented it at first. I resented the loss of free evenings, the roughly monthly national events. I found a verse. Colossians 2:16;

"Let no man therefore judge you in meat, or in drink, or in respect of an holyday, or of the new moon, or of the sabbath days:"

Well, this seemed to say I could do what I felt was right for me.

Anyway, I went on Leaders in Training courses, took Covenant, and became more and more a part of the Church. I had thought about moving into community, that is, living with other people in the church and putting all money into a central pot for use by the whole household. This was complicated, because I had my own business.

Business itself was going well. Then I started to have problems. First, a change in the tax laws meant that I had to pay Inland Revenue as if I was an employee, not a sub-contractor. This meant that my company's money was treated as my own rather than the company itself. I had less money for training, equipment and so on.

I took a contract at Worldcom, first in London, then in Reading. It was the highest paid contract I had. That offset the tax problems somewhat. I linked up with a group called MK Hope for a while, trying to help homeless people. I tried to help them build a resource centre, but could not convince other companies to contribute. I got in the papers for that.

It was just when everything seemed rosy that God stepped in. He had given me a taste of good things to see what I would do with what I was given. Now I had to deal with the flipside.

First, my lucrative contract ended when Worldcom started having their difficulties. My next contract paid much less. I had to sort out my finances, making them much leaner.

Then, after a year, that contract ended. I was unemployed for over a year. I now work for a church business earning a little over minimum wage.

Sounds disastrous? Not a bit of it! This was my greatest period of spiritual growth.

First, this was a time when both my parents became ill. Indeed, my mother died. As I was unemployed, I could spend time with them, help them, look after their affairs.

Second, when it looked like I was going to lose my house, two friends were evicted from their home, so they moved in with me. That meant more money, so I could keep the house. It also meant that I had to learn to share what I had, and to get along with other people in close quarters. I did not know it until then, but, living on my own for so long, I was immature in a number of ways.There was no reason to grow up, to change, as, up until then, I had no responsibilities for other people.

Third, it was not easy for me to get work. In fact, it was impossible. I would go to an interview and completely mess it up. My experience was not enough, or the wrong language. I had spent thousands on something called Systems Architect. I had one interview which required that, and I totally crashed!

I began to realise that my life was under God's authority. I had to do things His way. Accept whatever He gave me. I realised that, if he wanted me to have a job, no power in Heaven or on earth could prevent it. If he didn't want me to have a job, then nothing could cause me to get it.

I had to face up to a lot of truths about myself during this time. I had to face my self-centredness, my ego, self-importance, need for status and so on. I took myself too seriously. The result of the bullying and weirdness of my younger days. The greatest thing that happened was when I was at a meeting in Oxford, I slipped between chairs, spilled a coffee on myself, and laughed! I had never been able to laugh at myself before. There was certainly healing going on.

When I started at this job, my only debt was my mortgage, and my bank balance was in four figures!

Instead of programming computers (which, truth be told, I was never very good at), I support PC users, sort out mobile phone problems, deliver the post, take out the trash, scan documents, clean the floors, in fact, almost any job that needs doing. And I love it!

Some time passed, I cannot say how long. I was sitting outside a Subway, drinking coffee, and thinking about how perfect my life had become. I had true friends, a job I enjoyed, and a church that meant a great deal to me. I felt very grateful to God and realised that there was only one thing I could do. Offer my life to Him as a living sacrifice. That is, allow Him to do what He wanted, in and through me. He had shown me that His plans for me were good. very good. I had nothing to fear from letting Him have His way.

I am now very easy-going. I react positively to whatever is required of me. I enjoy whatever I am doing, from solving a problem to extracting a dead pigeon from a stanchion. Meetings are no longer a pain. I face them with expectation, eager to discover what they have in store.

Don't think this is the end. There is more to come.

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