Although I was raised an Anglican, I don't consider I became a Christian until 1978. I won't go into the reasons here; no doubt, I will share them later. Anyway, I was baptised in the Holy Spirit in November 1978. I was not baptised in water until the following summer. Again, I will share the reasons another time.
The first years were spent at Roxeth Green Free Church. We had a lively youth scene but, as we grew older, so we went our separate ways. I ended up here, in
In
It wasn't until about 1997, almost 20 years into my Christian life, that I had this moment of revelation. I could not say I heard God's voice, but I certainly felt God was telling me something, and it went along these lines:
*Everything I had done as a Christian up until that point was worthless, because it was done in my own strength, wisdom and knowledge.
*My life had to be at the standard Christ spoke of in The Sermon on The Mount:
**Jesus taught we should love our enemies. That meant, to me, I should love everyone. That meant I had to face my prejudices. There were certain groups of people that made me uncomfortable, notably the homeless, gay people, and the severely (especially mentally) disabled. I had to confront and overcome my attitudes. In doing so I learned to look beyond what I thought was a problem, befriended people in these groups and, in doing so, learned a lot from them about themselves and even about myself.
**Jesus taught that we should not retaliate against evil, but do something good instead. This has helped me deal with situations that would annoy or upset me. I have found that, by doing this, anger does not grip me as it once did.
**Jesus taught that we should be open handed with money and possessions. This is liberating. Is there something you love? Some prize possession? Give it away! Someone needs money? Give it to them, without expecting it to be returned.
*I felt God saying that I could not go any further by myself. It was at this point I met the Jesus Fellowship and joined the
Over the next few years God has been training me through circumstances. I had my own business as a computer programmer (I used to say IT, but sa colleague corrected me on that). I earned far more money than I needed. God was testing me to see what I did with the rest. Then the lucrative contracts ended and I had to take a lesser paid one. That meant I had to reassess my finances. It is as well that I did, because there followed over a year of unemployment.
This was a hard time in a worldly way, but rich spiritually. My parents' health declined at this time, so my unemployment was a gift from God to allow me to care for them. Dad was in a nursing home with the beginnings of dementia. Mum was not able to look after him because of her failing health. I was able to visit them both, and to do any jobs that were needed. I used to take Dad out for a drive in the country from time to time. One weekend Mum called me. She was feeling very ill and asked me to stay with her. Which I did. We played Scrabble, which is not something we usually did, and Mum beat me!! During the following week, Mum had to be rushed to hospital, where she died. It was a privilege to be with my parents at this time. One I could not have had with a job.
Before I go on, let me say that I was not alone in caring for my parents. As well as caring professionals, both my brothers made sure my parents were looked after and had all they needed. Indeed, for some time, my younger brother, Michael, and his family (especially his wife Julie) had their house modified to allow Dad to stay with them. However, Dad's condition became too severe for them to be able to cope.
Back to my story. I was not used to being unemployed. It was hard for me to get interviews and, when I was interviewed, I performed poorly. I came to realise that, if God wanted me to have a particular job, nothing on earth could prevent it. If God did not want me to have a job, nothing on earth could make it happen. I knew I had to trust God, but I feared losing my house and becoming homeless.
After some time, I started with my current position as Project Coordinator for Skaino Atmos Ltd. Now, this company is part of the Jesus Fellowship. It exists to generate funds for church activities. And everyone is on the same wage. Just above the minimum permitted in the
So, I have a job, but it does not pay enough to pay my bills. Two friends that were renting a place together had to leave and needed a place to stay. They moved in with me. So, there were 3 incomes to pay the bills, and I had a lot more lessons to learn.
Since leaving home, I spent much of my life by myself. That has an effect. There is no-one to tell you what to do or how to do it. No-one complains about how you are dressed, the state of the house, or how you behave in your own company. Suddenly sharing your home with other people is a shock to the system. Notably, it revealed attitudes in myself that were not far off being childish.
What I was learning during all this time was that, for the most part, I was not in control of my life. I had to trust God completely. And God proved Himself faithful. After many years of sharing my house and working for Skaino Atmos, I can truly say that God has met all my needs.
When I realised this, I knew that I had only one choice. God had done so much for me, and there was nothing I could do in return. Except this. I offered my whole life to Him, to do with as He pleased. He had proven Himself trustworthy, and this was my only logical response.
I also learned that whatever strength, wisdom or knowledge I have, it is irrelevant. What I need, God gives me. So far, I have been in 3 potentially violent situations (indeed, one person actually was injured in one incident). I am not a fighter, and do not count myself as brave in any way. However, I 'automatically' responded in each situation and, with only words, brought peace. The words were automatic as well. I believe God did that through what I call a Peacemaker Anointing. On another occasion, I had bought a four drawer flat-pack cupboard. I got it to the car, but could do no more than tilt it off the trolley. Suddenly, I became convinced I could pray for strength. With that Faith Anointing, I prayed aloud, and lifted the pack clean into the car. When I got home. I carried the pack into the house. The next time I tried to move it, I couldn't. The extra strength left me when it was no longer needed.
So now, I accept every situation I come across as one given, or permitted, by God. I trust Him to give me whatever resources I need to deal with the situation. I have no plans, no ambitions. I take each day as it comes. And each day is filled with peace, joy and contentment. Challenges, too, but challenges that I know I can deal with using the resources God gives me.